The caring, thoughtful people in my life (TCTPIML) made it impossible for me to avoid planned farewell get-togethers.
I am uncomfortable with attention but that is probably true for most people. I was aware there would be some kind of goodbye affair at work and in my adult ESL class. I had also planned on doing something with my friends.
TCTPIML, however, went above and beyond what I had imagined – which of course meant I felt extra special and extra uncomfortable.
Feeling special is such a complicated thing. How many percent am I actually deserving of this “recognition”? Are people just being nice to me out of obligation? Do they really want to be there? How much do they care? How soon will they forget the whole thing? And I’m okay if people forget, I know the world does not revolve around me. I expect people to forget.
I know, you’re saying (if you even read this far), “OMG SO FREAKING LONG. Are there pictures in this post or what.” Yes.
The point is that I felt special, albeit feeling a bit guilty, and that it means a lot to people to be recognized, no matter how small.